My New Year’s Resolution

As we are already well into the new year, I cannot help but think about the ways in which I disappointed Christ with my behavior at multiple times throughout the year. There were many times when I was not right with him, and many of those times by choice and pure rebellion. I mean, falling back into drug use, however short of a time it may be. My relations with a young woman that God didn’t want me to have. Over-stepping my boundaries, being resistant to my authority, arguing with my best of friends. All of this was clearly against the will of God.

With all of that said, I’m resolving to die more. Jesus Christ said that if any man wants to follow Him, that they will have to take up their cross daily. That means there’s going to be a daily death. The cross was a death sentence. Many times, Christians think they understand the cross but they do not. They have a burden, and they say, “Well, it’s just my cross to bear.” No! It’s your burden to bear, not your cross. The cross is dieing to self. I heard in a message by David Wilkerson that none of us understand what it is like to see a man die on a cross. It was the most painful death anyone could have experienced. As soon as the sentence was pronounced upon that man, he lost all of his rights. When I carry my cross, I lose all my rights. It’s not about me. I, like Christ, must humble myself, even to the death of a cross.

Not only do I need to humble myself to the death of a cross, but I also resolve that I’m going to blog more this year. I’ve not been very faithful to my blogging, and I probably don’t even have a league of semi-faithful followers. All the same, what I hear in the ear I will speak on the housetop. This blog is my housetop. I need to follow the Lord’s command for my life.

I also resolve to be a better college student, but again it goes back to the cross. Why am I in Bible College? Is it because of something I want to do, or something Christ has called me to do? Is it for my own glory, or for His glory? I need to search it out, because I honestly don’t know the answer to it. I definitely think that at the beginning, it was for extremely selfish purposes. If I go to Bible College because it’s what God has called me to do.When it is something God has called me to do, then I can humble myself under His hand, take up my cross, die to myself, and just let go of everything I feel I have a right to.

That’s why I perform so badly in Bible college right now. Because I feel I have a right to do something else when I should be studying, but in reality, I don’t have a right to. I have an obligation to be studying, whether or not God’s called me to the Bible college. I signed up for classes, and I continue to sign up for classes. That puts me in a legal obligation to my Savior to not tarnish my testimony or His name by performing poorly or dropping out. What if Christ dropped out on what God asked Him to do? I wouldn’t be saved, that’s what. I mean, what if there’s some poor soul in Africa who won’t get touched by the Gospel because I don’t go to Bible college? Obviously that is a moronic question that shouldn’t even be asked because it’s tempting God. His sovereignty wouldn’t allow for something like that.

Bro. Burks preached a sermon on being in the way, and how he almost had one of the top bus coordinator jobs at Hyles-Anderson Bible College. He heard that his name had been crossed off a list. God forbid that Michie DeBerry would ever be crossed off of God’s list. I fear that might happen if I don’t diligently search His will for my life and follow that I may attain that which He has called me to.

Well folks, got a lot of studying to do for a big test tomorrow. Please pray for my pilgrimage as it is not getting any easier, but then again, I don’t expect it to. His word continues to be a lamp unto my path.

In His service,

Michie DeBerry

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